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When I came to the train station, my only goal that day was to tell you that I wanted you to be mine. Now, I know it is too late for such a hopeless request. On the way back, I remembered you taught me many things. Not only did you teach me that kindness, trust, and loyalty can help build a solid foundation for valuable, long-lasting relationships and get you far in life, but also love can be a beautiful thing as long as you believe in it. For many years, I found myself suppressing the idea of love. I found myself living a mundane life and wondering if there is more to it than the mental prison I have created for myself. I allowed the world around me to be warped because I was too lazy to lift a finger and take a risk. I was too cowardly to give you what you desired most. And I knew your heart desired something pure because every single teardrop came from the pain and damage I have inflicted towards you. "Ask and you shall receive". Well, you did ask and in return, I broke your heart. I was afraid of change... and love. What is love anyway, if it's not respect, trust, or admiration? Respect was drained away. Trust was severely broken. Admiration was present on both sides; however, it stood alone. It wasn't enough to salvage the inexplicable chemistry between us. When you sent that final text, I read it a million times thinking, 'What have I done?'. I still read it as if I am trying to decipher a hidden message. I should take it at face value and see it for what it is. A parting message. A note that indicates the loss of a hidden gem. Nothing more. Nothing less. I was heartbroken. I was to blame. I knew I have hurt someone that only wanted the best for me. Someone I clicked with on so many levels. Someone who believed that you can be whoever and whatever you wanted to be as long as you put your mind to it. A person who believed in me. And guess what? I did not even put up a decent fight. A beautiful person, I should say, with a beautiful mind. But, who am I kidding right? These are just words. Empty words from a heartless soul. Because for this particular being, actions speak louder than words, as cliché as that sounds. And I can tell you that I failed miserably in that department. My actions were not loud enough because, in the end, the prince did not save his princess. He wanted to be a selfish king and instead opted to rule his kingdom of mediocrity. A genuine queen, by his side, would have tamed his cruel heart and painted a beautiful picture. You are indeed a queen. I shall learn to be kind next time love comes knocking at my door. A door that I shall gladly open and a sentiment that I shall welcome and embrace vehemently. I shall save the next one. Aurevoir.
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